It is going to be a long week.

So, I have my mom in town for the week and I am thrilled. It is great to have her here but I am saddened by a comment that she made on her first day. This morning after breakfast Taj looked at me and said "nee nee please" and my mom looked at me and asked what that meant. I told her that he was asking to nurse to which she replied "Don't you think it is about time you knock that off? He is almost 3." I told her that it has been shown that a child will naturally wean between the ages of 3 and 4 and that I wasn't comfortable with forcing him to wean before he was ready. Her reply was "Well, maybe but come on we aren't living in a 3rd world country." I quickly ended the conversation with a "Well, he doesn't really nurse that much any more any way." This his hilarious because my almost 3 year old nurses more often than my 1 year old does. He practically nursed through an entire play date the other day.

So after this very brief conversation I have felt really uncomfortable nursing him around her and so I feel like I have been brushing his needs aside all day. At one point when he asked to "nee nee" I told him that we would nurse later and he throw himself on the ground crying. So, we didn't nurse before we went off to my older two's soccer games and at one point he was begging and trying to pull my breasts out of my shirt right there on the side lines. We had a quick talk about being patient and I promised that he would nurse before nap. So after we got home him and I went upstairs to nurse and the poor child seemed so frantic, like I better take what I can get now because I don't know when I will be able to do this again.

It was a long evening and can I say uncomfortable one. When you have two kids nursing on a daily basis and then all of a sudden just one, hello very full breasts! Finally it was time for bed and the poor child nursed for almost an hour. I can not go another 9 days like this, I need to figure out what to say to her and also how to not push aside Taj's needs because I am not feeling comfortable in a situation. He is only 2 1/2 and this is not his problem, he just wants to know why all of a sudden I am not allowing him to "nee nee" whenever he would like to.

Any good words of advice would be really appreciated right now.

First Time for Everything

I just had to write because I felt so empowered today! For the first time (not counting nursing at a local cafe that is VERY breastfeeding friendly) I nursed both of my children in public today.

Well, now that I have volunteered to be a co-leader for our local Holistic Moms Network chapter I went to the mall to meet up with the other leaders this morning. The play area was in full swing as I was nursing my 5 month old Peylyn. No big deal, I breastfeed her no matter where we are.

This morning though something was up with Taj and after I nursed Peylyn I handed her to the woman I was with so that I could pay some extra attention to him. He immediately climbed up on my lap and started saying "nur, nur." I tried to distract him with the slide but he wasn't falling for it. So I gave in...

This is huge for me on two accounts: first, we haven't nursed in public since he was about 18 months old. Mostly because when we are out he is so distracted by what is going on around him. The other thing is, I wasn't sure how comfortable I was with it. I nursed Ajay (#2) until he was 2, but at some point between a year and 18 months I was not comfortable nursing him outside the house. I guess I was a closet nurser and maybe I was with Taj too, but honestly he rarely ever asked to nurse when we were out. Second, I have never nursed both so publicly (in a place like the mall where you know not everyone feels as passionate about breastfeeding as I do). Honestly though it felt great! My worst fears had not come true, people did not cover their children's eyes, no one ran screaming for the door and after just a little while Taj was happy and went off to play. I don't know why I have not just feared nursing an older child in public but also showing people that yes I am nursing both of my children.

When Taj was asking to nurse this morning, the first thing that popped into my head were the words of a woman I had just met the other day. Last week I was at a babywearing meeting (at a local & VERY pro-breastfeeding cafe) and I had just nursed Peylyn and Taj came over and began to nurse and a woman sitting across from me told me how beautiful that was and that I was giving her hope that she could do the same for her toddler and soon to be born baby.

Is there a greater compliment than that? I love that by being so open about what I feel is right for us, I may be giving another woman the encouragement that she has been looking for to tandem nurse too.

All I Can Say is WOW...

OK, so my husband was not completely on board when I came home from the hospital and officially became a tandem nurser. Well, this evening over dinner he was telling me about his day at work. Some how one of the guys in the feed mill and him got on the topic of breastfeeding (let me note that this guys wife had to have her baby at 30 weeks due to issues with preeclampsia) and this young guy stated that breastfeeding was stupid and a pain in the ass. Now as far as I know he has yet to breastfeed, but maybe I am wrong. Anyway, he went on to tell my husband that his wife stopped breastfeeding (their very premature baby) because it was just too time consuming.

My husband would have ended the conversation there except for the fact that this young guy went on to tell Perry (my husband) how disgusting it is that I am nursing two children at once. He asked if I knew what kind of damage I was doing to Taj by still nursing him at this age (he isn't even two yet). My husband went on to tell him about all of the health benefits that there are from extended nursing and that it is a fact that children that are nursed do better in school. Plus, not only is it not disgusting, I am a great mom that listens to her gut and not what all of the people around me say.

This kid laughed at the issue of health benefits because he has a niece that is breastfed (obviously this makes him an expert) and is sick all of the time. Perry told him to look at all of the other crap that they are shoving down her throat.

All I can say is wow...I guess that when push comes to shove Perry really does have my back and that is a great thing to know. I hate to think that I am out here all alone. I always knew that he did really respect the fact that I was so passionate about breastfeeding, but it is great to know that he does actually support my choice to tandem nurse (even if he is just now excepting it).

How Long?

If you are close to me then you probably already know that my husband isn't really on board with a lot of my choices. He was getting antsy at the end of my pregnancy wondering when I was going to wean Taj. I think that he thought that my 2 day stay at the hospital after having Peylyn was going to put an end to it. Boy was he wrong! Once I realized that I was in my third trimester and still nursing I knew we would keep going for as long as it is still what Taj and I want.

Perry no longer has the disgusted look on his face when he walks into the bedroom and I am nursing both of them, but like clock work he is now asking "how long?" Sadly, I stopped way before Ajay was ready because my husband wasn't comfortable with me nursing him past 2 years old (I didn't know then what I know now so Zola and I stopped when I was 5 months pregnant with Ajay). It was awful trying to wean him, he became very aggressive when I wouldn't let him nurse.

Now that I am about 1 month from Taj's 2nd birthday the question is coming up yet again. This time I am a little older and wiser. I told him the other day that if he wanted me to stop nursing he would be the one that would have to wake up and comfort Taj in the middle of the night. Yes, that shut him up real quick! He has it so easy, even if he is the one to wake up first when he hears Taj at night he know he can go get him and hand him over to me to nurse him right back to sleep. If they both wake up at the same time (usually Taj is still crying on the way to our room and he wakes up Peylyn) he knows I will nurse them at the same time and they go right back to sleep. Please, if there is a man that has it any easier let me know.

My question is "Why do men care how long we choose to nurse our children when we aren't asking them to do it?"