Am I doing this right?

Oh my goodness, I can't believe that we are almost to the middle of August! Where does the time go? Now that I have school aged kids the end of summer makes me so sad, even more than birthdays. It blows my mind that my oldest is going into 2nd grade.

Every year at the end of summer I feel terrible because my kids have not gone away on some fantastic vacation to Hawaii or Disneyland. I can't help but wonder what my kids will feel about their childhood when they are grown ups. Will they realize how difficult it can be to raise 4 kids on one (not so huge) income? Will they feel cheated that we really weren't able to travel and they wore a lot of second hand clothes. Will they get how material things don't mean anything to me for the chance to stay home with my kids and raise them myself?

The other day all of us went to a park and I was sitting in the grass with Peylyn while the others were running around. A construction worker walked through and asked me how old she was and commented on my completely bald baby and we laughed. Then before he walked away he said "It's great isn't it." I replied with a "What?" "To be able to stay home with your kids" he said. I almost cried after he walked away. It truly is a blessing and one that I know I take for granted sometimes. While it is rough and I get frustrated and worn out, I have a husband that never underestimates the importance of me being with the kids. I do get the occasional grumbling about me driving the kids all the way across town to a Montessori charter school, but other than that he does not complain a lot about trying to support 6 people on his pay check.

I know that we get to do fun things by making vacations out of conventions Perry needs to attend for work, but is that enough? Do the little things that we do together around town count for anything? Will the kids grow up and remember all the times mom took them to the park, all of the playdates and free events that we went to? Heading down to the Farmer's Market on Saturday's even if all we could buy was some yummy popcorn.

I just worry that my need to be with them and do my best to raise some amazing human beings is short changing them due to our lack of money to be able to travel and give them all of the things they deserve. Is this just regular stay at home mom's remorse?

One of our stops on our tag along vacation to Des Moines, Iowa.